From prep to senior: balancing expectations with well-being

Alison Fleming, Headmistress of Newton Prep, on the challenge of managing the senior school transfer...

The pressure felt around the subject of senior school transfer is palpable. The intensity is, perhaps, greatest in the London area where many parents have allowed themselves to be convinced that there is some elusive magical pathway to being awarded the ‘golden ticket’ to that top school of their choice, hence the rush for places at the ‘top’ schools has led to an extraordinary explosion of private tutors and academic hot-housing beyond the school gates.

Sadly, this has led to a generation of little children who risk being old before their time, carrying the burden of trying to win a place at one of the ‘best’ senior schools, instead of enjoying what should be the best years of their lives. At the same time, the country is also waking up to the notion that children’s mental health and well-being is crucial – and fragile. So where does well-being fit in with the enormous pressures they are under at age 11 or 13?

This swirl of opposing forces led us to institute the post of a Deputy Head for Senior School Transfer at Newton Prep: pulling aside one of our top teachers to research the full landscape of senior schools, to hone the academic direction of our Year 6s and Year 8s, to manage the nuts and bolts of a good transition process and, overall, to caretake the well-being of both child – and parent! – during application, interview and exam.

What lay behind this decision was my long career in education (in both the maintained and the independent sector), enabling me to suggest how to avoid our children being damaged by the brutal process of multiple applications followed by multiple rejections. 

First, my strong belief is that the burden of senior school transfer must rest solely on the shoulders of the involved adults not the child. At Newton, we try to ensure that the children’s only responsibility is that which lies within their control: give their all in class, do their homework, revise for tests, get involved in the total life of the school. Beyond that, placing any extra stress or expectations on young shoulders is unforgivable.

Years ago, the strongest partnership was between parents and the school, yoked together in the best interests of the child. I have been teaching for long enough, however, to have seen a worrying trend: where the child becomes promoted into this decision-making partnership. I am constantly amazed by the number of parents who want their children to ‘choose’ their senior schools. How on earth do they know? While children’s views should be sought, they are too young to appreciate the ‘big picture’; a decision of this enormity is one to be made by involved adults. It is not helpful for children to be trailed around endless senior school open mornings until the parents have made a calm, rational decision and come up with a short list of schools to focus on.

The key to the whole process is for parents and school to work closely together to choose the best school for their child. After all, both share the same aims; for the children to fulfil their academic potential but also to be happy, well rounded, well-adjusted young people. As part of this partnership, schools gather a wide range of data during a child’s educational life eg standardised reading ages, Cognitive Ability Tests, school exams results. Some schools shroud this data-gathering in some mystery; at Newton Prep, we believe in transparency – and the occasional difficult conversation. No child can be reduced to the sum total of their data, but it is also true that data gives both school and parents an invaluable ‘reality check’ about the child’s prospects. Hard facts can go some way to persuading a fond parent that there is no blame for an apparently ‘weaker’ profile: it’s not the child’s ‘fault’, nor the school’s, nor indeed the parents’. Our job is to get the child placed in the school that is just ‘right’ for them. It is unkind to allow them to sit for multiple entrance exams to schools for children who only fall within the top 5-10% (academically speaking) if a child is well outside of that band.

As with any important life decision, there is no single answer to which is the ‘best’ school. One of the great joys of children is that they all have their different personalities and their own special mixture of strengths, abilities and interests. There is no one school, however illustrious its reputation, that is right for every child. At Newton, we see this every two years, when we host our Senior School Fair: 60-80 senior schools from all over the South-East: a vibrant tapestry of excellence in education showing us that there is life beyond St Paul’s!

So it is key to look beyond the perceived ‘premier league’ of schools. I refuse, despite parental pressure, to draw up a list of schools in some sort of ranked order. The reality is that there are many fantastic senior schools, day and boarding, single sex and co-educational, those with long histories and big reputations, and those that are newer and less well-known. From within the tunnel-vision of worrying which school to choose, we can forget that remarkably little divides them academically. Often, when you look carefully at A-level results, they are only divided by fractions of percentage points; broadly speaking, most of the pupils get A*, A or B at A-level and most go off to cracking universities. 

The skill is for parents and the school to work together throughout the whole process, sharing the successes but also deciding together what happens when there are disappointments along the way. Our children are precious and their value is beyond price. Senior schools are very lucky indeed to have them!

For more information about Newton Prep, see the school's profile on School Search.